habit

“But we can not move theory into action unless we can find it in the eccentric and wandering ways of our daily life.” – Minnie Bruce Pratt from S/He

San Francisco Aug12
San Francisco Aug12

I like how this quote has settled in my mind. I interpret the words wandering, action and daily life to my own understanding of who I am. I linger on the accuracy of eccentric to describe an intent of searching beyond the center and the active practice of valuing differences in order to evolve.

These days, long distance doesn’t have the same meaning.  Information travels faster than ever before, even heavy news from home moves nimbly.

 

 

It is important to find ways to routinely calibrate where the center lies; I need to be reminded of how far I’ve wandered. Control is no longer a theoretical exercise lost in mindless wrong turns.

We can’t afford to forget how much we give away. Establishing this habit is how we’ll remember the way home.

Oakland Oct13
Oakland Oct13

entropy

day sleeper Oct13
DAY SLEEPER Oct13

The room had been painted a soft pink, the color of the inside of your mouth. A mouth that holds all the words you never release for fear of getting what you deserve; a sensitive fear that is a result of not knowing what you are worth.

We told each other only what needed to be said. I should have asked how you make happiness last and when you knew you wanted more than what is in front of you and when you let go after believing you’d never get it.

In the same way light forms around bridges, we move around our own barriers gracefully and with purpose.

This is, and always will be, the art of surviving.

____________________

She takes a loaf of bread, the shape and size of a toddler’s skull. Holding it vertically, she carves a slice two-fingers thick with a plastic butter knife. She stops mid-slice to answer her ringing phone. It was a friend whose name she had forgotten. There was no hello or how are you, just the beginning of a story about watching a man on the airplane lick the inside of a Ziplock bag clean. An erotic retelling of licking the insides over and over in an attempt to taste the way hot plastic feels when it melts from sitting in direct sunlight, an unconscious exhibition of witnessing solid shifting to liquid. She took the moment when breath makes silence to hang up and finished slicing her bread.

___________

Last year I abstained
this year I devour

without guilt
which is also an art

—Margaret Atwood

holy accord

The blood drops formed a heart on the park bench. It was a sign to take risks.

Oakland, Autumn12
Oakland, Autumn12

We recorded a 4-track EP in the just vacated bedroom
a sweltering Ohio afternoon where rhythm and breath
became an archive of calculated structures –
bridges that spanned across bruised childhoods
finding similarity that escalated our emerging independence

Years later as the electric bus hummed
snapped
buzzed
then quietly accelerated
its fading noise triggered new ways to say the same thing:
foggy windows a result of leaving warm beds
spread legs transitioning from suffering to kindness

These quiet disambiguations of faith
and its partner optimism
underscore an intimacy that needs a chorus
and a choir of communion