Barely Britney


I would have had Britney giving birth to the screaming bear.
Instead she is silencing her inner bear (notice the placement of her hands on the bear’s ears).
This is the real message.

Don’t silence your inner bear.

Patriarchy 101: Women, Republican Babies, and Power

In a recent opinion article, Phillip Longman bemoans the lack of life fostered between liberals.

Conservatives are breeding like crazy which accounts for the historical rise of Bush hegemony and even apparently forgotten patriarchal values. He cites Utah as the conservative example and gay loving Vermont as the liberal signifier of childlessness.

Pop quiz:

Do you think the army is bad and feel an overwhelming urge to protest their killing ways?

Do you believe that “soft” drugs aren’t that bad?

Are you of the mindset that being gay isn’t a one way ticket to the pits of hell?

Then you are probably going to have a dog instead of shuffling the kids to soccer practice 3 days a week.

Looks like my womb will be barren.

This must be due to the fact that the generation before me fostered ideas such as feminism and civil rights which will leave “no genetic legacy”.

These opinions are adapted from the full article entitled, The Return of Patriarchy. Longman harbors such ideas such as:

“Patriarchy does not simply mean that men rule. Indeed, it is a particular value system that not only requires men to marry but to marry a woman of proper station. It competes with many other male visions of the good life, and for that reason alone is prone to come in cycles. Yet before it degenerates, it is a cultural regime that serves to keep birthrates high among the affluent, while also maximizing parents investments in their children. No advanced civilization has yet learned how to endure without it.

Through a process of cultural evolution, societies that adopted this particular social system which involves far more than simple male domination maximized their population and therefore their power, whereas those that didn’t were either overrun or absorbed. This cycle in human history may be obnoxious to the enlightened, but it is set to make a comeback.”

Patriarchy is set to make a comeback? How obnoxious!

Longman continues his patriarchy is good for the evolution of mankind rant:

“Indeed, in almost all the hunter-gatherer societies that survived long enough to be studied by anthropologists, such as the Eskimos and Tasmanian Bushmen, one finds customs that in one way or another discouraged population growth. In various combinations, these have included late marriage, genital mutilation, abortion, and infanticide. Some early hunter-gatherer societies may have also limited population growth by giving women high-status positions. Allowing at least some number of females to take on roles such as priestess, sorcerer, oracle, artist, and even warrior would have provided meaningful alternatives to motherhood and thereby reduced overall fertility to within sustainable limits.

During the eons before agriculture emerged, there was little or no military reason to promote high fertility. War and conquests could bring little advantage to society. There were no granaries to raid, no livestock to steal, no use for slaves except rape.” (emphasis added)

There’s more …

“Another key to patriarchy’s evolutionary advantage is the way it penalizes women who do not marry and have children.”

Longman’s tongue-in-cheek endorsement for patriarchy:

“Without implying any endorsement for the strategy, one must observe that a society that presents women with essentially three options, be a nun, be a prostitute, or marry a man and bear children, has stumbled upon a highly effective way to reduce the risk of demographic decline.”

Again – patriarchy was on the decline? Last time I checked the news, the society I live in hasn’t fostered the advancement of women in quite some time. Ask me where I can fill out my prescription for EC. Or is this the first in a series of effective strategies of the state to increase U.S. world domination?

“Advanced societies are growing more patriarchal, whether they like it or not.”

May advanced societies everywhere heed this warning. The alarm has been sounded. We can no longer advocate for women to have equality for fear of a barren planet.

Don’t worry – it’s the conservatives that advocate for abstinence only.

Spectrum of Choices

In the official government press release for Women’s History Month, George W. Bush proclaims, “Today, the United States of America remains a country that offers the greatest freedom on Earth and believes in the promise of all individuals.”

“The greatest freedom on Earth”
We only have one freedom?
To have any extra may result in confusion and mayhem.

I had a feeling South Dakota seceded from the Union.


On the surface the idea that men should have more choices in respect to reproduction is newsworthy. Male birth control options are limited. Comprehensive sex education (where you can hear it) is often aimed at women for obvious reasons.

On the other hand when the director of the National Center for Men, Mel Feit, states, “There’s such a spectrum of choice that women have – it’s her body, her pregnancy and she has the ultimate right to make decisions. I’m trying to find a way for a man also to have some say over decisions that affect his life profoundly.”

He is referring to the Center’s latest lawsuit (note the trademark) which argues that because a woman can choose to a) adopt b) abort or c) raise the child, the father should be able to have the option of denying financial support to the unintended offspring.

A spectrum of choice? With the most recent assault on women’s reproductive rights (I’m talking about you South Dakota, my birth state) to hide under the paper tiger of Roe v Wade isn’t a very well thought out legal strategy. Maybe men should start demanding choices in what happens in their lives, it just may catch on in a patriarchal society.


In a stunning announcement, the American Medical Association has warned about the dangers of spring break. Apparently a lot of drinking and sex happen during spring break. Women need to be careful. [insert finger wagging here]

But of course the fault lies with the out-of-control party attitude that many women (CNN labels them girls – maybe for their naivete?) have during this time of revelry. Men (boys) should suffer no ill will in their bid for the ultimate party experience.

After all, us women have a spectrum of choices should above referenced partying happen to result in conception of a life. If you’re an oppressed dude, you should have the choice of walking away, pockets full – which just happens to be the greatest freedom on Earth.


It’s International Women’s Day.
A day in a month of celebrations aimed at honoring our fellow sisters.