Homeland Security


Ladies – the future has arrived. Technology will save us. If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a public stall and your monthly friend has arrived in all her glory and you have nary a quarter to waste, this will be your new best friend.

Sign up for EggAlert – a service brought to you by PDAHealthWare, Inc. Planning a pool party or planning a baby? You’ll receive a text message alerting you that your period is about to begin in 5 days.

Using this innovative service, couples can attempt to choose the sex of their unborn child or a teenager could plan her life around her personalized EggAlerts. According to Dr. Dave, the president of PDAHealthWare, Inc., “EggAlert provides a sense of freedom and comfort for a lot of teens who want to know when they are going to menstruate because it can have a significant impact on planning of social and recreational activities.”

The cultural landscape of menstruation has been redefined. The consumer of EggAlert can be relieved of the annoying duty of tracking the biological function. The menstruating body is privately alerted to its impending function. The menstrual body as potential reproductive vessel can be consumed as a product couched in a package of freedom and empowerment. Freedom to transgress the worries of menstrual surveillance. Text as empowerment.

Having a husband or boyfriend maintain this surveillance and its potential reproductive ramifications conjures a world imagined by Foucault. Imagine the chaos that could happen if the EggAlert server crashes and text messages delayed.

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